Bee-stung Pouty Lips That Would Make Hollywood Jealous




She's already got the pout figured out

 Just when you thought we hit a lull in the baby blog, here comes all this exciting news!

            Like, for starters, I think we’re going to have to name sweet Baby Readling something along the lines of Angelina Jolie Lisa Rinna Readling. After the latest ultrasound that seems to be the only fair way to go.

People pay good money to look like Angelina...

      All I know is we were sitting there, minding our own business. I was sitting on the little chair they make father-to-be sit on, trying to remain upright. The Reparations Chair I like to call it, as it seems like punishment I have to endure for the crime of making my wife go through 9 months of hormones, weight gain, discomfort, hormones, warped feet and hormones. To be honest, we both have to deal with the hormones, so the Reparations Chair is really unjustified.

       Anyway, I’m teetering on the brink of falling on the cold floor and she’s all stretched out with the squooshy gel all over her belly. That’s when the experienced and very professional ultrasound tech lets loose with this… “Well, everything looks very good and, oh my, LOOK at those lips. They’re so big. I don’t think I’ve ever seen lips like that on a baby before.”

            So, we both crane our necks a little closer to the big screen monitor and there they are, clear as day, a pre-natal Collagen ad.

...But sometimes they come out looking like Lisa

 Once we calmed down from the shock of our daughter, the future Dizzy Gillespie, the tech broke out with some even more fun information.

            Baby’s weight at 30 weeks: 4 pounds, 3 ounces.

            Melissa’s jaw almost hit the ground and her eyes started spinning as you could see the calculations going through her mind. 4 pounds, 3 ounces with around 8-10 weeks to go. Most of the baby’s weight comes in the final few weeks. 4 pounds, 3 ounces times 2 = 8 pounds, 6 ounces. 8 pounds, 6 ounces squeezing out of a 2.3-pound wide hole. Think of the pain. The pain! What happened to my 6-pound baby? The pain! Can we get it out early? What if she’s late? 4 pounds, 3 ounces times 3 = 12 pounds, 9 ounces = Oh. My. God. 

Then she just laid back and started laughing maniacally. But it was one of those uncomfortable laughs like you don’t know what else to do, but people are watching, so I have to do something, I guess I’ll laugh.

I guess that’s all you can really do when faced with the prospect of everything going smoothly on the day of the birth…until those lips get hung up on something important on the way out.

Lindsay says "Smooches"!